WordPlay

So to explain the lack of updates on my end over here, I thought I’d let my loyal blog readers in on some news.  I’m heading up to Syracuse University for my MA and I’ll be leaving tomorrow for the long drive up.  Needless to say, I have a ton of explaining to do about a bunch of stuff but I’m too consumed with packing and work to fill in the details.

I’ll try and do some blogging on the road to bring everyone up to speed.
Cheers.

The horizon seems to sway gently in seductive gestures. The heat is not oppressive but the open sky allows the sun to bring the full brunt of its energy down on the courtyard below. It’s just about noon and the trickle of guests has not started yet.

“Global warming at its finest,” I muse while gesturing with a can of Dr. Pepper to the sky above. I look like I’m giving a toast to our environmental state of affairs. Cate Blanchett as Irina Spalko seems to give her steely glare off at the sky before being brought back down.

“Whatever happened to April showers bring May flowers?” Someone I don’t know chimes in as she clutches tightly to her boyfriend’s arm.

“That’s Colorado for you,” an older man adds.  It’s the age old answer to the perennial question of Colorado’s schizophrenic weather.  Today might be considered a brisk summer day.  The reality reminds me: It IS almost Summer.  It seems Spring has no more place in our lives except for the mild inconvenience daylight savings brings when a good chunk of the United States must ’spring’ forward.

Spring has passed us by.  The revelation doesn’t shock me so much.  Another day, another dollar has been the mantra which provides me enough willpower to survive the retreat of the cold.  Most Saturdays I am chained to one of the numerous computer stations at the office - logging, digitizing, QC’ing, assembly editing, hunting for b-roll on shows about people enjoying the great outdoors.

The irony is not lost on me at all.

Balloons and party decorations explode in bright, obnoxious colors to announce the celebration for a birthday boy and girl.  A deflated penguin wearing a beanie struggles to stay afloat.  Family, in-laws, cousins, friends all congregate in the courtyard under the sun for the party.  Most of this second family I have not seen since the baby shower but I’m greeted as if only a week has passed since I last saw everyone.  The grill spews out a steady plume of smoke as hamburgers and hot dogs sizzle on the rack.  The light breeze puts the taste of the food in everyone’s mouths.  People are chatting with each other only stopping when the birthday toddlers’ curiosity brings them to the conversation.

Mason, the godson, sits in the surprisingly large plastic pool and splashes water about.  His great, partially toothless smile beams as he throws water at his mom.  Despite the enjoyment, his teeth visibly chatter.  He’s probably the only one keeping cool for the moment.  His parents lift him out of the pool and wrap him in the safe confines of a navy blue towel.  The teeth still chatter but he flashes a big smile for all to see.

I set about my trade taking still photos and operating a video camera of the day’s proceedings.
The toddlers spend time with the various relatives and friends.  Mason and Julia seem to enjoy themselves as only children are able to.  Time moves generously, eroding the crowd a little bit as various friends depart from the party.  Lucas and Megan urge the gathered crowd to come together for a screening of something Lucas put together in the apartment’s movie theater.

The hallways of the complex look like a modernized take of the hallways Danny rode through in The Shining.  High vaulted ceilings with a simple repeating beat of colors extends deep through the hallways almost to infinity.  It’s easy to get lost within and even easier to become disoriented.  Everyone travels in groups lest they disappear within the apartment condos depths.

The screening room is a small theater with nice chairs arranged in front of a projection screen and an in-room speaker set-up.  Various posters for sub-par pictures add a little decor to the mostly black room.  Lucas starts the video displaying the past year of Mason’s life.  It’s pretty much a slideshow of Mason’s firsts interspersed with a handful of video clips of the same.  Underlying the whole proceeding was a choice selection of Lucas’ indie-rock favorites.  I’m sure in 15 years, Mason will be utterly horrified at this revelation.  Today’s child will be 10x more embarrassed because there are more photos and more videos of them than there ever were before and it is much easier to share them with friends and family.  Still, the video was cute in the self-indulgent way.  Parents always must have moments of self-indulgence when it comes to their children.

Some of us got a brief tour of the pool area, the lobby kitchen, and internet and magazine room in the apartment complex.  Seeing all of this makes me understand what a young executive lifestyle truly is all about:  All me, all the time, right now.  Indulgence to me fits more along the lines of an expensive pint of ice cream - this complex is the expensive pint of ice cream all the time.

The party moves back into the courtyard.  The sun has started to retreat westward and the shadow of the complex buildings grows longer.  A Backyardigans decorated cakes sits in the center while two smaller cakes  sit off to the sides.  Once photographs are taken, the crowd rouses to sing Happy Birthday becoming somewhat at a loss as to who they are singing for.  Both Mason and Julia dive into their respective mini cakes.  Julia picks at her cake cautiously eating only a fourth of the cake.  Mason demolishes his cake by putting all of the frosting on his arm and then sucking on his arm to take in the frosting.  Once he has devoured the frosting, Mason decides to play with the cake turning it into an explosion of chocolate cake crumbs.

While the toddlers are cleaned up, the rest of the party partake of slices of the main cake.  This leads into the present opening side of things.  Lucas and his sister sit with the kids and open presents, reading cards.  Mason seems more interested in wanting to investigate his new toys while Julia has more interest in charging around the courtyard.  At this point, the party has wound down all the way.  Everyone seems a bit more exhausted and a little more ready to move on with their day.  The party packs down and everyone packs up and retreats back to their various corners.

I hang around for awhile.  Mason sits with his great-grandfather while some of us play Mario Kart on the Wii within the apartment.  It’s funny watching Mason look at his great-grandfather and seeing the room occupied by four generations of one family.  It’s surreal to me because I don’t even have this kind of living history within my own family.

I turn to look at Lucas and then his wife.  Their bodies don’t show it but their demeanor and the way they sit betray the toll of parenthood.  I can see the enthusiasm and energy of life begin to disappear, replaced by the certain type of apathy being a parent fosters.  My best friend’s aged twenty years already and he’s got a long road ahead of him.  Still, when I see how he looks at his wife, how she looks at him and how they look at their child I can understand the reward for the sacrifices and the challenges ahead for them and I believe they will endure.

Eventually, I call it a day and drag myself back into work.  It’s the latest I’ve been at the office on a Saturday night.

===

I don’t remember much about my first birthday or tol.  It’s a pretty big deal in Korea especially for a male and so my mother put out all the stops with the food and the location.  I even remember the photos of my in the traditional birthday attire.  At one point in the celebration, a bunch of items were put before me and whichever one I select will influence the path I take in life.  I picked the pencil.

My parents both love to remind me of one of my odd cherished treasures.  We have this old VHS cassette of my second birthday party.  This one was a more typical American bbq in the backyard of the old house we used to live in.  At one point right before the candle blowing moment, the little band for the party hat slid out from under my chin and snapped me in the nose and I started to bawl as the candles burn on.  On subsequent viewings, the two or three year-old me would look to the television set and tell the younger me recorded onto the magnetic tape, “Don’t cry.  It’ll be okay.”

A good memory tied in with another.

I think what I really like about the video tape is the way it showed my family.  There’s vibrancy and life and youth in my parents they no longer have.  Back then they seemed less burden by the uncertainty of the present and seemed to billow with optimism.  Now they are worn down and weary.  My sister was more innocent, less embroiled in her teenage rebellions and less involved in the life which drove a wedge between her and the rest of the family.  Now she’s worn and tired, much older than the number reveals.  My aunt and uncle were less marred by the ravages of time.  My grandmother was still alive.  Home still had some meaning to it.

I wonder if the VHS still exists in the maze of our basement, locked away in a box somewhere.  I think I’d like to watch it again before I go.

Waiting for stuff to digitize means more time for internet video!

RoboJew vs Giant Nazi Woman of the SS!

Oh internet, you amuse me.

Today, I got mail from Chapman University.  Being a small envelope I figured the news was the usual “Sorry, we think you’re swell but not swell enough for us” crap you get from the pretty but nice girl you’ve been lusting after.

Whatever.  It’s not like I wasn’t totally expecting this response.  What’s another rejection to the pile?

The contents are actually far worse.  Essentially they assured me I’m pretty good but they got a lot of really good people.  In case some of those really good people decide they don’t want to come to Chapman then I might be able to come.  Of course, it could be until August 15, 2007 (Yes, you read that right!) before I hear a response.

Fantastic.

I can’t wait for sloppy seconds.

I was recently reading reading a post about the world’s rarest video games in relation to an individual who collected every, single Sega Genesis cartridge. It drew up an old memory of participating in one of the competitions in which one of these rare cartridges was used.

In the summer of 1995, I believe, Blockbuster sponsored the second and last of its World Video Game Championship competitions. Somewhat appropriate for my age, I was video game obsessed so I was excited at the opportunity to try my luck at this. Besides two years of free rentals (two per month) were on the line.

The contest was set-up to give each competitor the opportunity to play the special cartridges 3 times over a four or six week period, if I remember correctly. An official from the Blockbuster store observed you while playing and acted as scorekeeper for the contest. Players had to choose between playing Donkey Kong Country on the SNES or two pack of Acclaim games, Judge Dredd and NBA Jam TE, on the Sega Genesis. Being a devoted member of the House of Sega, I picked the Genesis side of the competition.

I remember not doing extremely well in my first two trials. NBA Jam TE I think I did very well in since the original game was one of the few non-baseball sports titles I actually enjoyed. The competition tabulated score based on how many points a player could score in one quarter (2:00) of play. The trick was 3 points also tabulated an additional 9,000 points for each one hit. So when I played, I picked a 3 point heavy team, the Cleveland Cavaliers, and managed to score consistently high the both times I played.

Judge Dredd, as all things Stallone turn out to be, was a different matter altogether. The game wasn’t out in retail or rental yet. It was set to be tied to the Stallone summer film coming out later in the summer. As such, it was difficult to practice or know how to play the game and the 10 minute time limit didn’t give much opportunity to learn. I managed with what I could and did a pretty mediocre job with the game. I followed the tips provided in the little Blockbuster pamphlets to maximize scoring opportunities but still ended up middling in 5th place.

One day, I got a lucky break. While browsing the aisles for a game to rent, I happened upon another competitor playing through the Judge Dredd portion of the competition. I watched intently as he played through his round. Nothing seemed spectacular or out of the ordinary from the way I played. As the timer ticked away, the player found a hidden room and found a trinket adding a million points to his score. This explained why everyone else seemed to so handily topping my score.  Of course, I didn’t really have much of a clue as to where the trinket actually was.

Eventually I got to take my last stab in the contest.  I managed to pull the highest score in NBA Jam TE yet but I wasn’t on the road to victory yet.  Judge Dredd booted up and I started my play through trying to find the trinket.   Time ticked away as I fruitlessly scoured the two dimensional representation of Mega City One.  I did find the trinket by falling into a room with the worst enemies in the game.  I grabbed the trinket and scrambled to rack up whatever remaining points I could accrue.

With time up, my scores were tabulated and I found I now commanded a significant lead with a week left in the contest.  I waited and checked in on the scores every couple of days to see where things stood.  No one else managed to top my score and I was the winner at the store.  I was handed over the card with my winnings which rented many a crappy game over the next year, I mean it was 1995 and unfortunately the 16-bit era was in its twilight.  I reckon Blockbuster didn’t see much value in the competition and the second contest ended up being the last one.

Anyone else every compete in the competition or tracked down some of these rare cartridges?  Leave a comment.

Who knew waiting to hear back from graduate school could be such a headache?

I’ve learned a lot of things this week which grossly complicates matters.  I am not pleased at all with these developments because it’s causing massive, excruciating delays on my plans and schemes.

So after waiting a while, I give Loyola-Marymount another phone call about my application status.  Despite having my application since February 12th, they decided I should be wait listed.  This would have been fantastic news had someone bothered to tell me.  Even better, they won’t make a decision until May 25th.  Thankfully, they get a reprieve since I am unable to get on-campus housing at the other two schools I might be going to.

It gets better.

Chapman University’s computer systems for admissions have died.  What does this mean for me?  Well, Chapman’s had my application since February and it was complete.  They even likely made a decision by now but the Office of Admissions can’t access the decisions to print them out and mail them.

Lesson learned: I really hate the college admission process.  It’s full of stupid and is largely useless except to cause a lot of confusion and rage.

In an unusual twist of events I managed to have a surprisingly interesting month of April outside of the usual process of work, doing trivia night, and being lethargic at home. So I give you Phil’s April in 4 Sub-Posts!

#1 I Bought A Brand New Car
For my first grown up act, I ended up buying a car. I’m not really one for unnecessary luxury items particularly cars, after all a car is a tool and I’m not really the type to brag about it like it were a diamond ring or some status symbol. I upgraded Go-Go Speed Hyundai (a Silver 1998 Hyundai Elantra GLS) to the Go-Go Speed Hyundai Mk. II (a Silver 2008 Hyundai Elantra GLS). The upgrade has been in the works for a little while because my old car was 10 years old at this point and various parts were going to need a serious overhaul.

As for being my first car buying experience, I learned how nasty salespersons can be sometimes. Initially, I had gone with my dad just to scope out and do a test drive. We were prepared to drive away with something if we met some specific conditions on pricing and trade in value and made our intentions clear at the outset. Our salesperson seemed really reluctant to run the numbers until we committed to buying the car but we had no intention to commit to a purchase until we got some hard numbers. Being the one with the cards, we walked and our salesperson’s tone very grudgingly changed. She didn’t want to play by our rules but knew we would walk and we got every demand we had come with. The big lesson of the day? Car buying takes a stupid amount of time to take care of. A 1:00 PM appointment ran until 5:00pm before the deal was sealed. I’m pretty sure this alone will keep me from buying another car for another ten years.

#2 - I Joined A Gym
Joining a gym is a pretty significant step for me. The last time I had to do a minimal amount of exercise was my sophomore year of high school and when I say minimal, I mean minimal. Last time I visited a doctor for my back injury from the winter, the doctor recommended some exercises to perform after my back healed to essentially strengthen my lower back muscles and lessen the potential for trauma and pain from any subsequent falls. Essentially, this planted the exercise itch in me. The big problem for me is the fact I tend to be sedentary for 10 hours at a time at work and the exhaustion at work makes me pretty sedentary at home. Well, I finally decided to scratch the itch and joined an Anytime Fitness which is a cheaper alternative to 24 Hour Fitness. I’ve been going for about a month and I’m seeing a great deal of benefit out of it. I’ve been sleeping a lot better since I started exercising, I’ve lost 10 pounds, and I’m starting to cut through my huge backlog of podcasts and audiobooks.

#3 “OFFICIALLY” Promoted to Full Time
In short, after having to find out what the hell is going on. I am finally promoted in the system at work and can now start reaping the benefits I’ve earned. Unfortunately, there will be no back compensation for lost vacation time earnings despite being promoted back in January. Fuck this job and fuck this place.

#4 Rejected From Every. Single. Graduate School
In deep shame, I am rejected from 6 of the 10 schools I applied to. University of Texas at Austin I had known about for a little while. I got the other five in a pile of mail. It made for such a fantastic day as a result. I still have not heard from Loyola-Marymount or Chapman University but I can’t say I’m optimistic about my prospects at this time. I’m still going back and forth on my decision to go to Syracuse or Miami at this point. I guess I need to make a decision one way or the other eventually.

Just a head up to all of the readers to the blog.  I’m starting to go back through the concert review and add some choice photos to the posts as well as a link to the appropriate Flickr sets for the photos.  Some won’t have any photos for various reasons and others will take time to get up since I lack a Flickr Pro account.  Hopefully I’ll be caught up on reviews and notes during this brief rest from the various concerts.

As always, comments and criticism is always welcome here.

Lately I’ve been struggling to come up with the right thing to say.  It’s lead to a lot of difficulties for me with both this blog and personal projects.  It’s dawned on me I have failed to finish a single piece of personal writing be it screenplay or story in the last year.  Sure, I’ve had plenty of incomplete projects, a lot of false starts and a plethora of good ideas but they all end up getting stowed away.

This has even spilled over into my non-fiction writing.  I started this blog (inspired by Goggins’ travelogues) as a way to distance myself from my LiveJournal where I tried to document every grueling day of the next ten years.  Needless to say, I bored myself with the details.  The concept became filled with the mundane aspects of life and it became a terrifying mirror of how I lived my life in the year I managed to complete online and offline.  Needless to say, I deservedly abandoned said project as a testament to foolish nostalgia.

When I sit down to write the words don’t flow as easily.  It takes scorn, spite, malice to arrange the letters into words.  The optimism and passion for the good, the beautiful, the hopeful seems to have vanished.  The world’s just another bitter place but I have no reason to be the way I am.  Nothing keeping me down or unfairly frustrating my ambitions.  I just feel the gnawing in my stomach.  Unease about something I just can’t place.  The world’s I create in my mind, in my notes seem too terrifying a place.  No character or reader would wish these environments on their worst enemy.

My worst enemy: I don’t even know him or her or it.  It takes the face of classmates who don’t get it.  The parent who doesn’t have any real faith.  The frustrating and happy joy of the success of others around me.  It’s name is Doubt but it can’t be slain, it can’t be outwitted, it can’t even be frustrated.  It can only be held at bay for moments.  It only proposes fascism as it seals away the ideas in the prison of the mind to languish and wither until they are forgotten.

Still, I try.  I try and try and try.  I keep trying.  There is nothing else I can do.